Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize