Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
not ubering you a puppy
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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