he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
