Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
