Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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