He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize