i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She announced her abortion via fbk
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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