Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
