call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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