some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
