Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
