So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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