Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize