I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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