she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
