he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
