Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize