she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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