did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
