32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
