Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
