I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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