I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
