he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
he high fived his dick after we had sex
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
