lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
