you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
