thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
