i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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