Swine flu. Run for my life!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
