Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Can vaginas get frostbite?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
