God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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