Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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