I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
