it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
