Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
there's paper in my vomit.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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