I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
