It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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