I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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