do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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