i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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