you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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