i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
