having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
