Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
