jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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