i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
