whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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