turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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