tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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