sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize