i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
