How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
