I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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