My first STD was from a foam party
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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