This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
