i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
