I hate your face
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
