He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
