Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
